User blog:Weirdweirdweirdo/Your Page Stinks: The FreddyFazzyBearBear Saga

Decided to make more consistent use of blog posts with a series where I dissect deleted pages, where they went wrong, how they could improve, all with a healthy dose of comedy. To hopefully make Fandom not mad at me, I decided to call this series Your Page Stinks. Obviously, I'm not gonna be that big of a jerk, that was just the title that first came to mind.

So, what better place to start this series that may or may not get me globally blocked again but one of the more recent incidents. FreddyFazzyBearBear made some pages that all... Were interesting, to say the least. And we never really gave them feedback besides "What are you talking about?" so it's time I dissect these and hopefully get a few lessons across on how to write a page.

I got a list of deleted pages to make blog posts about for this series, with some extras like the infamous Team 64 story, but if you want me to look at anything I might not have in store then... Can you comment on blog posts? I think you can. Do that, or go to my message wall or the forum post I probably will make for this.

Also, this is gonna be the first of a couple in this series where I go through multiple pages at once. That means that while I may dissect them as normal, I may end up skipping some parts just to hit the highlights. When I get to the Lorena series, I'll almost definitely do this even though all the pages are likely short enough that I don't have to.

We got 4 pages: Super XenoBlade Chronices 64, which is by far the most infamous of the bunch, The New Burning Meteor Page, Lemonade, and Brightened Bloom. This is in chronological order of their publication, and the order I will review them in. I was originally just gonna do the first one, but decided I didn't wanna leave these out due to their similar amounts of absurdity.

Super XenoBlade Chronices 64
Alright, first off, the name. It has a typo. Chronices. They meant Chronicles. Not off to a good start, but it can be rectified with a page move if this is worth leaving up. Oh, what's that? Oli added a joke template to this? Well, a joke page that went unlabeled is fine, surely this page can stand up to the task of being able to make me laugh, then. Judging from the name, this is a crossover of Xenoblade Chronicles and Super Mario 64. I don't know why we're making this a page, some random game mixed with SM64, which doesn't even inherently belong on this wiki unless you can give me like a Wario Apparition reference or something, but we'll see if this is good.

"The xenoblade chronicles 2 64 edition of the game is very rare and it takes time to complete. But you must understand how to play it!"

(Plankton clip from Spongebob of him yelling "OH MY GOODNESS!") Alright, let's be academic here. First of all, the title at the beginning of this sentence is inconsistent with the page's real title. "The game" is not specified, though it's safe to assume it's either Xenoblade Chronicles or Super Mario 64. Which we're talking about would make a vital difference, however. The second sentence doesn't really add much, it just says that the game is complicated. The exclamation mark makes the page much more informal, which isn't what we're really about. And that's the entire intro paragraph, which means it's far too short.

The heading for the page is "THE. GAME. NOW." First of all, the punctuation is unnecessary, alongside the full capitalization. This encapsulates the... Bizarre description of the actual game, so it should be Description. So far, we're off to an interesting start. This grammar so far is already concerning, but it gets worse, which I'll talk about in a second.

First paragraph/stanza/section since it isn't really a paragraph the formatting is weird: "First you select morshu. Then as morshu you keep going into the battlefield with Mario and Peach and Luigi and Bowser and Koopaling #3. Then you must attack! The! Xenoblade! Chronicle! Characters! With a gun!"

First of all, why do we HAVE to select Morshu? This implies there are multiple choices. Also, I don't know if Morshu is a character in Xenoblade Chronicles, I just imagined it as the Zelda CDi character, which might actually be accurate as we move on. Why is Morshu here? They don't belong. So far this is a crossover between 3 games, which is... Concerning and entering fanfiction territory. Morshu isn't capitalized, either. "Then as morshu you keep going into the battlefield" Assuming you mean Bob-omb Battlefield, the correct way to write this would be "Then, as Morshu, you enter Bob-omb Battlefield". Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Bowser is excessive considering these aren't even playable characters in SM64 and again entering fanfic territory, and then this is the part that really confused me when I read this: Koopaling #3. Which Koopaling? There are many, and they have names. They aren't numbered. I asked the author about this, they didn't give me a concrete answer. And then it gets WILD. Why are we attacking the Xenoblade characters? Where did we get a gun? Why is there a gun in a Mario game? This is still Mario, right? And what's with the excessive exclamation marks?

Second section: "Shulk first gives you his hand then rips it out of his hand for the air to capture and then turn him into a Backslash! Machineian."

Shulk is a Xenoblade character, so that's correct placement of characters. "First gives you his hand then rips it out of his hand for the air to capture" This is gramatically incorrect, and is practically gibberish, and I don't say that to be mean, I say that because I legitimately cannot figure out what this means. If you know, let me know. Please. Also, I don't know what Backslash! means but the author kept saying it in forum posts so I assume it's a thing with them or a Xenoblade reference. I also don't know what Machineian is, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it's a Xenoblade thing and that this makes sense and I'm just missing context. Alright, so the entire SM64 cast and Morshu go to Bob-omb Battlefield to fight Xenoblade characters with the Gun Cap or something and then Shulk turns into a "Backslash! Machineian". I assume this will be a boss fight, right? Let's see how this fight turns out.

Third section: "The gun will help you kill the other people. Morshu's master bait gun will help you relieve stress with the bait machine. Master it quickly! Then the 12 sides of the cube will explode and Pyro will be dead. She will hump up super high into the sky, and tell everyone the story of the xenoblade chronicles 2 game 2021. 2022 is about to happen! But 2023 is...who knows. Then, he came!"

First sentence here is irrelevant. "Master bait gun" is a nice innuendo, but out of place. Is this the same gun we've been using? A different one? What is a bait machine, too? Master it quickly is just something you'd see in like a "How to play this game:" video on YouTube, but not how we'd write it here at MIPS. Okay, 12 sides of the cube is just.. Wrong. Also, what cube? And looks like they misspelled Pyra, a Xenoblade character... I think. But I can't help but imagine this is TF2 Pyro. It doesn't even really conflict with anything. "She will hump up" is meant to say She will jump up. And jumping into the air to tell everyone the story of their game is... Okay? 2022 is about to happen? It IS happening, and 2023 we don't know about sure. The last sentence is once again gibberish, unless it's talking about Morshu and his master bait gun.

Fourth section: "A master Backslash! Will occourr. He will then jump up super high like Pyra and HUMP up higher. HE is HERE alREady."

Okay, another Backslash! thing. I'll assume that's Shulk doing this action, but that should be specified. Occur is spelt wrong. Is hump NOT a typo? Because this just happened again. Oh well, it's not like typos can only happen once. Why is that capitalized though? Last sentence is once again confusing gibberish. Who is HE? Shulk? Why is HERE capitalized? What happened to get you to say "alREady"?

Fifth section: "Yet the gummyleeches guy will come in and say strange strange strange strange too stupidly strange! And Then I Come In And Say hey you STINKY!'D."

Okay, calling out Gummy for.. I assume saying Freddy doesn't make sense when talking? Don't call out people in notes like this in pages, it almost never works out. Once again, incorrect grammar, but I don't think I need to elaborate further. Second sentence is once again... Confusing. So Freddy appears and tells Gummy the one Mario voiceline for some reason?

Sixth section: "Here is he!"

??? Is this the same he from earlier?

Seventh section: "Like i said! Stop it with the fart gun! Morshu says. He will then teach you how to play but you must select him and his master bait gun first!"

"Like i said!" Is not something you should include in a MIPS page. What fart gun? Is this the same gun? A second gun? A third gun? Why is Morshu saying that? Nobody has used the fart gun... Alright, Morshu teaches you how to play but you need to select him... OH, THAT'S WHY YOU NEEDED TO SELECT HIM EARLIER! THIS IS A STRATEGY GUIDE-TYPE THING!

Eighth section (Prepare yourself): "Mushroom shrroo will co me in and goku says shut up then suicide mouse thinks hes hot stuff and tries d attacking The Morshu! Then I.M. MEEN will yell at you for giving up! You can then retry. Mushroom shrroo will however let you then you can tretry! He is here! Dog mario! Cat mario! Bat mario! Latex mario! Pattercake mario! Shadon says to stopp! Cody tran s says to continnue!"

I legit don't know how to maintain professionality like before, so.... Too many characters from too many places, why are they here? Again, this is becoming a fanfic. "thinks hes hot stuff" Wrong He's. Is I.M. Meen at like some game over screen? Who is "Mushroom shrroo"? Retry is spelled wrong. WHO IS HERE? Why are you just listing types of Marios? What is Pattercake? Who is telling us to "stopp"? Who is telling us to "continnue"? I REALLY wanted to try and come at this from a professional and academic angle, using this as a learning example but this has broken me. What does this mean?

Ninth section: "R Then you are giving are given a copy of Sonic R for the PS4! Oh Hello! It'Sa Me! SuPerMaRiO for the PS4! WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!WWOOHHOO!"

Why does this start with R? Sonic R is from the Sega Saturn and assuming this is still SM64 then... How is the PS4 involved? The N64 and PS4 were YEARS apart? Why is Super Mario for the PS4 being referenced here? Don't just bring up random memes? Also, don't forget the bizarre capitalization and lack of space between Super and Mario. And then the second bit you can just read for yourself. We don't write like this. What's with all the exclamation marks too?

Tenth section: "Mythra then helps you but she dies of boobobsus. Before coming back to life again with He comes back to life again."

Okay, finally another Xenoblade character- She dies of WHAT? Does this mean like Boolossus from Luigi's Mansion? Or her... Chest area? Okay, she is somehow revived and- WHO IS THIS HE? HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS MYSTERY CHARACTER BEEN BROUGHT UP?

Eleventh section: "But then he uses the FART gun and then everyone DIES. The end. Or is it. No. He comes back to life. Google translate."

Okay, the "He" uses the fart gun which is capitalized for some reason, and everybody dies. I think you can tell that "DIES" should not be capitalized. We don't just write "The end. Or is it. No." in pages like this. I assumed this he wouldn't die from their own fart gun and- Google Translate. Why is this in the sentence? Was this page written with Google Translate? This raises more questions than it gives answers.

So, all in all, I lost my sanity trying to review this critically, so I'm sorry if I come off as rude. But I legitimately don't know how to go about this. I mean, at least I tried. And so did Freddy, I guess.

The New Burning Meteor Page
Oh, he's back? And... Why would you title it this? Why not just title it Burning Meteor? Not to mention, Burning Meteor is part of the joke 5th floor page, which would mean by extension this would have to be a joke page. It wasn't labeled as such, just like last time. Alright, let's see the intro paragraph.

"Another day at work and he will be back. Morshu yells "WHY IS MY DINNER COLD" and I Say GummyLeeches and Weirdweirdweirdo and Epic2Epic and SigmaShield are the baddies! But They then come in and save the day anyway!"

The he character returns with a vengeance. Alright, Morshu is eating dinner and it's cold. I'd say the dinner thing is a reference to the one CDi meme with the king from the same games Morshu is from, but I don't know. Freddy is once again self-inserting himself, calling out the people he thinks were mean to him. And.. Oh, we save the day? That's sweet.

Oh, the heading is "When he came in and said I was here!" I assume this is referring to an event, which is... Presumably unrelated to our prologue. Once again, this is not how you do headings. Wait, isn't this about Burning Meteor?

First section: "I remember One Day looking into The dog of it all. He says "Morshu! Cannot stop me at all! Kim jong in the dungeon!" Then i yell "Shut my!" Morshu then proceeded to come I.M. MEEN in jalf half for the calf of my legs and it is all here explosion thank you for jumping humping high for me i said then he came out of the dungeon again Kim jong then said shut up my dogs are here!"

Okay, capitalization is weird, and Freddy's telling us a story- What is the "dog of it all"? The mysterious he (Or the "dog of it all" maybe?) calls out for Morshu for some reason, then continues the sentence as if there wasn't an exclamation mark. Is the dog of it all evil? Is "he" evil? Why is Kim Jong in a dungeon? What dungeon? What does this have to do with anything? Alright, Freddy yells back... "Shut my!" Shut your what? I ASSUME they meant "Shut up!" Do you think yelling at a presumably evil entity to shut up will stop them? Morshu then appears with I.M. Meen and... "jalf half for the calf of my legs" WHAT? What explosion? Jumping... Okay, I'm convinced humping isn't a typo anymore. Who is Freddy thanking? Okay, Kim Jong escaped the dungeon, and the... Is the dog of it all Kim Jong's dog? What a traitor.

Second section: "But I disagree!"

Don't know what to say here, I don't know what this means and why it's separated.

Third section: "He did not want the day at work too be bad. But then He Said They Are Here! Then! He wanted! The! Page to be revived! Ztar articles no war! Now way?"

We're still talking about Kim Jong- I ALMOST TYPED JIM KONG. Anyways, we're still talking about Kim Jong, right? What day at work? The time he was in the dungeon? Who is "they" and why did every word get capitalized? Okay, looks like Freddy wants Super XenoBlade Chronices 64 back and not as a Ztar article. What war? Do you mean no way? Because you say it again as a typo again.

Fourth section: "W"

Not even gonna question this, the least confusing part of these pages.

Fifth section: "He did not want the death sentence from the Hangar store. He just simply Wanted Some Delicious Meatheads. HE had it alright. HE knew it all. AND that concludes the S-troy of my friend's life and death and revival of the Dog of it All."

Why is the Hangar store giving him the death sentence? How does some random store have the right to do that? ...What are meatheads? IT'S THE RETURN OF HE. I assume S-troy means story, and.. This was your FRIEND'S life? You said I multiple times, though. And the dog of it all was a major player in the story as I suspected, but I don't think they made that clear. I had no idea who was saying what throughout all of this.

And most importantly, what happened to this page being about Burning Meteor?

Lemonade
Okay, off to a better start. Correct title.

"The yellow lemonade is a level in Super. He is here! Come on and Lemonade is here! Wow! He is come! Came! Coming! Here! Now!"

Super what? Super Mario? I assume they mean SM64, but they could very well mean SMB3 or Super Mario Odyssey. HE is back. Wh... Where are we going and why is there lemonade there? At least we're on topic and... It just devolved into one-word sentences with too many exclamation marks, alright.

"Welcome to the life of me dogs" Is by far the most bizarre heading yet, and... Will the dog of it all return? So far these pages have been telling a story about some bizarre world with Morshu and HE and Mario and whatever, so I hope so so I can keep following.

First section: "The Dog of it all is here! He evacuated Morshu's evil plans for world dogimination and is now explosive! He will chop off your legs and replace them with new ones like the Arts of Kindness Jones! Yeah!"

YES, THE DOG OF IT ALL IS BACK! Wait, he "evacuated" Morshu's evil plans? Do you mean stopped? Wait, since when was Morshu evil? Dogimination would be a clever pun if written correctly, since this is a pun on domination, it should be dogination. Is the dog of it all explosive? That reads correctly. Wait, why is the dog of it all chopping off my legs and- What is the Arts of Kindness Jones? Why did you just say Yeah! at the end of that too? ...What happened to lemonade?

Second section: "He wants you."

Oh.

Third section: "He wants you to listen FreddyFazGlitch's cries of fear. Lorenamansilla is proud of you! They knew...the world was ours! Now take it! Take it all back from the oven! Where you belong! Off! To! The! Cookeries of the Dog of it all Times! Now!"

Oh- FreddyFazGlitch was the author's original account, are they are a separate character now? Why are they crying in fear? Okay, the mention of Lorena proves to me this is FreddyFazGlitch's return. Freddy and Lorena were best friends for a while. Why are they proud of ME? I thought Freddy didn't like you. Lorena knew what- Oh, they knew the world was ours? As in Freddy and Lorena? And they're.. Taking over the world. What oven? Where do I belong? Are you saying I belong in the oven? What? Alright, another bizarre exclamation mark riddled sentence. What is a Cookery and.. The dog of it all times? They have an entire era?

Fourth section: "SigmaShield, if you are reading this, tell Weirdweirdweirdo to check out the newest support edition!"

Why SIgma? What is the newest support edition? What am I checking? Why did Sigma have to tell me? What if I saw it first?

Fifth section: "Now life!"

...Sure. Wait, what happened to the lemonade?

Brightened Bloom
The final showdown, the fourth and final page Freddy wrote at the time of making this post. Name sounds like a level name and seems relatively traditional. Better start. You can watch Freddy gradually evolve and improve with bits like these titles, and I find that intriguing.

Alright, intro time-

"The brightened bloom is a Morshi Yoshi's course in Super Mario 64 20. I do understand however please yes here is he."

Okay, I was right it was a course. What is Morshi Yoshi? Is Morshu a Yoshi now? ...Super Mario 64 20? Alright, second sentence is complete gibberish, but HE is once again mentioned. I just classify HE as whatever unassigned "he" is said and see what happens at this point.

"The Story" Not the right heading for a course, but it's much better. Again, you can see Freddy evolve here.

First section: "Second of King Henry the eighth."

How did he spell eighth right? I can barely spell eighth right. Also, why is King Henry here? What second? Why do you keep having to introduce new characters into this saga?

Second section: "Weirdweirdweirdo knows the eggs will not work. Yet he continues the cracking technique. The eggs then stop and go again. Gummyleeches reaches out to him, and explains how The Dog Of It All will occor and halp him out in his journeys."

What eggs? They won't work- OH, THIS IS A YOSHI GAME! In my head, to make sense of this, I'm imagining this is Yoshi's Island and I'm playing and fighting King Henry as a boss and I can't damage him normally with eggs but I continue throwing eggs at him, which I assume is the cracking technique. I stop throwing them, and try again. And then the logic breaks down. Why is Gummy reaching out to me? If anything, I reach out to him assuming reach out means more than just pinging me in the server. The dog of it all is back, that's neat, and... Occur and help are spelled wrong. So, is Gummy like joining me in multiplayer now? Or is he like a scripted party member in this game like an RPG?

Third section: "The end of the line is near! Now dog."

Okay, we're near the end, and.... If I understand correctly, in British dog as a verb actually makes sense and is... A dirty word. This is the ONLY way to make sense of this sesntence.

Fourth section: "Cats."

The dog of it all V.S. cats, who will win. I'm invested in this story more than critiquing how this page doesn't make sense or isn't formatted right or whatever now. Freddy, you won.

Fifth section: "Puppies whatever is here."

The dog of it all shall live on in their descendants... I guess.

Sixth section: "But then he said "Step Forward In THE HELL!". Of it all."

Okay, so the dog of it all (or HE) basically tells someone to go to Hell... the Hell of it all? Is that the dog of it all's home?

Extra: Unnamed Beta Build
So, on the original Freddy account, FreddyFazGlitch, all they really did was rewrite Lorena pages. I skipped those because they weren't original pages and weren't anywhere near as interesting as the original pages Lorena wrote. If anyone wants me to go back and review those anyways in a part 2, let me know. But there was ONE original page Freddy wrote on this account, and I feel like it's worth mentioning. This page is about a build of SM64 with some pages Lorena wrote. Unique material, so far. Let's see the intro paragraph!

"This "Unnamed Beta Build" is an old build containing things such as Ghoul Guy Galleon and Episode Two of Hazy Maze Cave, however no gameplay or even pictures of this build are to be found, as the A.I. is so strong in this build it makes any recording of this build completely corrupted. Not much more is known about this build."

Ghoul Guy Galleon and Episode Two of Hazy Maze Cave are 2 Lorena pages by the way, one stolen from a ROM hack. How does the A.I. corrupt any recording of the build? That's not how this works. It can't use magic to make your pictures nothing but static, here at MIPS Hole our interpretation of the A.I. is much more grounded and reasonable than some malevolent magic force.

Alright, the heading is Main Info. Much better. It then lists 3 featured levels: Ghoul Guy Galleon, Episode Two of Hazy Maze Cave, and the Old West, another Lorena page. They neglect to list any other levels, and I find it odd that they didn't even list existing levels, as HMC Episode 2 exists without the original HMC with this logic. It then lists power-ups included: the Fire Flower, the Purple ! Box, the Safety Cap, and the Ice Flower. And... That's it. That's all there is to this page.

But, the thing about this is that it wasn't gibberish. It was a page that tried. Not hard enough to not get deleted, but he tried. It shows he could write a page. Or at least try to. I wonder what happened.

Conclusion
I read all 4 of these pages before their deletion. I was still absolutely blindsided upon re-reading them. I lost my professionalism somewhere around midway through the first page and somewhat gave up on pointing out the actual issues, so I want to wrap up by reiterating the main issues with these pages. The grammar, first of all, is abysmal. It makes it incredibly hard to follow. So does the bizarre spacing and headings of these pages. The random characters introduced make these read like a fanfiction. You can't just add whatever you want into pages like these, even if it's a separate game, ESPECIALLY if they didn't exist before SM64. They never really stick to the point of the page and instead go on telling whatever bizarre story Morshu, HE and the dog of it all have to tell. Speaking of HE, characters are not properly established at all. The points of the pages themselves are bizarre. A crossover between Super Mario 64 and Xenoblade Chronicles, Burning Meteor as a non-joke page(?), a level in "Super" about lemonade, and a level in Morshi Yoshi. What is Morshi Yoshi?

Sometime after Brightened Bloom, a friend of Freddy appeared and said he spoke gibberish as a coping mechanism with some dedicated bullies trying to harass him. That explains almost everything. But one thing about this story has stuck with me, and I have no idea how to solve this in my head. He can talk like that, sure, but why would he write pages like that? If he's on this wiki but hasn't read a single page to see that isn't how we format things here, I don't know what's going on here. If he was really passionate about this, he would have put in effort to make it an actual page and not just gibberish, right? If he really tried, he could have made something at the very least interesting. If he truly wanted to write a page about Super Xenoblade Chronicles 64, and knows how to speak normally, surely, he could have at least tried? His old account was coherent, and even if those pages he rewrote from Lorena weren't that good, they were much better. Just look at Unnamed Beta Build, you can see he at least tried. But what happened? Why would he extend his bizarre method of communicating to his pages and lose all chance of them staying up? If he was trying to cope with bullying, maybe having a successful page would make him happy and help him deal with it by having success of some kind? Why throw that all away? I might never know.

In the end, even if these pages weren't meant to be joke pages, they made us laugh. But in the wrong way.

Because these pages stink.