User blog:Ultra64Detective2401/MIPS Hole HQ Recap

This page is apart of the MIPS Hole HQ canon, a piece of joke canon revolving around the concept of MIPS Hole as a physical company.

In a land one cannot reach normally, out in the complex space... There were people who wanted to discover the truth on Super Mario 64.

Said group formed MIPS Hole. They hired some architects to build themselves an HQ. Said architects didn’t pick a very good spot, as the ground below was susceptible to major geometrical anomalies... This would result in the basement having completely broken geometry, and thus be locked away...

MIPS Hole would be governed by a group known as the Council. While it is somewhat known who they are (SigmaShield is one, Ven was likely another at some point), the system the Council uses is not.

Training tapes were made, long, long ago. Each describing proper protocol:One’s job is to play Super Mario 64 and report any anomalies they may experience within the game. This is determined by comparing what they experienced with an emulated version of the game, then making some adjustments to account for differences in hardware between emulation and original hardware. (For instance, the game crashing from the camera following Mario into a PU is not anomalous) Everyone was originally given four rooms, a main room, which is baseline, and three others in different parts of the HQ meant to simulate different environments, to see if that changes how the AI personalizes the game.

Unfortunately, they seem to have ran out of space, and everyone seems to only have one office. And these offices are often very small.

The building itself tends to act like M.C. Escher’s “Relativity”:Gravity isn’t always the same direction, thought this was controlled for and allows every wall and ceiling to be used as a floor. There are further rooms that require travling a complex distance, but said rooms are never assigned to those who are new to the job.

2021
June of 2021, the first known event occured. A tear in the fabric of spacetime resulted in a rift to another world. Jam was said to have went through that rift, and was eventually awakened, wrecking havoc. This resulted in an update being made to those who would best make use of it. If you didn’t engage with Jam, all would be fine.

More evil twins would show up as time went on...

January 2022
Around here, a certain someone known as Vermin Sammy started wrecking havoc. He pushed Busy off the stairs, which resulted in a string of events that only barely didn’t cause Busy’s death.

Early Feburary 2022
This may also be when Oli started making excursions to the basement. This is definitely when Oli started posting about it and leaking things.

Now, Oli is a rather anomalous one. Due to his anomalous effects on those he is near, he cannot show his face. And any copies of Super Mario 64 he goes to play somehow get changed into a mysterious cartridge known as “Changed 64”. For this reason, he cannot play Super Mario 64, and is not even allowed to attempt. His main job is the basement excursions, which, due to some anomalous abilities he has, is far easier for him than for anyone else who would attempt to do the same.

Not long after this started, the stairs began to malfunction, randomly sending those near or on them to the Stair Dimension. This resulted in the stairs being declared unsafe, and fireman poles being the recommended method of travel.

...At least until the poles started phasing in and out of reality!

Eventually, the twins all came together, and announced something was happening 2/10/2022. MIPS Hole successfully determined this was an announcement of an attack, and prepared for such. Defective tried and failed to convince employees (It’s likely he was going for Oli specifically) that MIPS Hole was just like the Nintendo Ninjas.

Then Ultra learned the existence of later tapes, which the Council has not officially released! Ultra made a query to the Council, which was not answered (Sigma may be in the Council, but he alone can’t make major policy decisions. If he could he would have released the tapes himself. I’d imagine you need a majority vote, but it could also be he has a lesser rank among them than some other members.)

The Twin War
On Feb 10, 2022, the twins arrived, just as they said they would.

It was a hard war to succeed in, but with the power of memes, we were able to turn the tides and win!

And probably also because of something Oli did. I mean one of the twins blundered so bad and that’s the only reason why they lost when they did.

But this wouldn’t be the end. On the 19th, the twins would strike again. They managed to make a wormhole between the two dimensions.

But Jim had a plan. A wormhole key, that could close the rift once rhe twins are sent back. It was built, and it was used, ending the conflict.

Late Feburary 2022
Things got even worse at this point. The gravity started acting up near the stairs, resulting in it shifting one downwards faster than it’s supposed to, resulting in someone crashing down into the Stair Dimension. The hole in the floor also went straight through the basement, meaning the basement was now in direct contact with the Escherian Geometry of the rest of the main building.

Thus, it was concluded that HQ would begin to detabilize in the near future if that hole isn’t fixed...

Then Oli vanished. Though thankfully, it turned out nothing bad happened to him... He just left without telling anyone.

Early March 2022
Epic made the statement that the Ninjas have arrived. We don’t know if they really did, but either way, this started a panic. Jim told Epic to take a grenade... that had the pin already pulled and exploded. Why? Because Jim thought it was a soda can and didn’t know what to do with it after he pulled the pin.

Ultra pointed out Jim could just send it to the Shadow Realm. After all, he’s sent people there! And if you can send people somewhere, you can also send objects there through the same method! Unfortunately, Jim didn’t get this is what he meant, and thought that meant he could randomly make wormholes there. And by complete coincidence, he actually could do that.

And sent the entire HQ there.

So, Ultra made a complaint. The complaint somehow got dubitated, then marked non-canon, then marked as a joke. It appears this can happen to those in the Shadow Realm.. Though usually they just end up as one of these things right away and it stays that way forever.

Eventually, with the wormhole key, they escaped, though one of the entities that reside in that realm made it as well. It’s currently buried. The thread was restored to being canon, but the OP was altered, to refer to the trip in the past-tense, and “Complaint” was put in quotes, perhaps as an attempt to imply the trip didn’t happen?

This was considered the weirdest thing to happen in all of 2022, but it’s likely this will be topped sometime soon...

Late March 2022
As predicted, HQ began to destabilize:Well, at least the sector directly above the hole. The two geometries began to clash, causing the stairs to gain and lose steps, randomly curve around each other, and the law of conservation of energy was getting violated left and right.

Many ideas were tossed around, such as sacrificing to eldrich deities (thankfully it never came to that), but Jim was able to fix the hole by throwing Bob the Builder into it. After which was discussion on how to prevent this from happening again, including talk of filling the basement with cement, (Sigma said if it happened one more time he’d do that) and throwing Oli into the cement to test if he can traverse said cement (that way they could be sure filling the basement won’t ruin the excursions). Potential conflicts with the (rest of the) Council as a result were brought up, but Sigma and the others decided if that happened they’d just secede, just as MIPS Hole HQ did once before...

There was also talk of cloning Oli so they could throw him into the cement without actually touching him. (Due to his anomalous effects).

Ultimately the cement was saved to be used to fix the next 300 holes that employees will almost certainly make with their random shenanigans.

...At least until Sigma changes his mind and starts filling the entire basement because of another beta noob incident