Soul Extraction Program (Ghoulstoat94 Interpretration)

The Soul Extraction Program, also known as why tf would you want to know this information, is a set of instructions for carrying out a ritual that results in the removal of one's own soul. For unknown reasons, the procedure has been described as strange and perplexing. The soul extraction itself is excruciatingly painful, with the victim experiencing several orgasms and back spasms.

Steps to trigger the Soul Extraction Program

 * 1) Make a pentagram out of Superman 64 melted cartridges.
 * 2) Install a surround sound speaker on each tip of the pentagram's star, and connect the speaker to a distorted vocals-only version of the AVGN theme song from Yutube.
 * 3) Place a Super Mario 64 cartridge onto the center of the pentagram.
 * 4) Sing Do the Mario! and dance the cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-.
 * 5) Look up into the light that is forming above you once it has formed. A flash of light should appear, and the world around you should turn red. Following that, you should encounter the cartridge demon.
 * 6) After that, you should play the AVGN theme song and rap some Busta Rhymes bars. "ohhhh my lorrrrrd,   Lower the casket down  Sprinkle the ash, you'll get your ass kicked, pow!  Frown while I shit on your crown, skip town  Ground zero appear on the king cash cow  Do I make 'em say 'Wow!', strip, ow, bow  I sit with the pound, click, pow  Blow, click, click, pow, click, pow"
 * 7) As the world's color returns to normal, the demon should bleed from every orifice and die.
 * 8) Enjoy.

Side effects of having your soul stolen
Seeing the universe and everything you know in terms of Fractalization cosmological shapes,

Pattern manipulation powers

Euphoric Sleep paralysis

Random heart palpitations

Theorizing
This could be because I vomited a pancake at a party in Yellowstone National Park on September 12 while tranquillizing everything I saw. While listening to Tech N9ne, I flipped over a ricin-laced table and sprayed bullets from my Tec-9. Causing me to shoot a bullet into the heart of a man in a red jacket. The man was an NIntendo Ninja, and he was carrying a suitcase. When I opened the suitcase, I found Dr. Dre's unreleased Toxicity album. He's been jealous ever since.

wait this is part of my court case, erm. Okay, this how it really went.

I ran into Stanley while playing Mario 64 over the holidays. He looked at me expectantly, but I didn't move. From behind the screen, he reached out and drew me in by the balls. He gave me the key to a secret door in the town of Wet-dry World. I unlocked the door and entered a blank room with an obsideian-bound demon whose mouth was pouring blood into the Eternal Star fountain. He screamed that he wanted to be free, and I granted him his wish. He gave the key instructions for soul removal and then left. Then i poo'd my pants. After that, I was hauled up a later by the balls, into a 7/11, a hot dog stand, and back through the TV. I had 27 concussions, which I was able to treat with the 77th Benadryl on my nightstand.