User blog:Ultra64Detective2401/Mystery MIPS Theater 3000 Into

In the not-too-distant future

Next Tuesday A.D.

There was a guy on Mips Hole

Not too different from you and me

He worked at MIPS Institute

A place without any jumpsuits

He did a good job finding anomalies each day

But the ninjas didn’t like him so they shot him away! (Wait, how am I in space?!)

“We’ll send him cheesy pages!

The worst that we can find!

He’ll have to sit and read them all,

while we monitor his mind!”

Now keep in mind he can’t control, when the readings begin or end

So he'll have to keep his sanity

With the help of his robot friends

Robot Roll Call!

Cambot!

Gypsy!

Tom Servo!

Crooooow!

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes

And other science facts (la la la)

Then repeat to yourself "It's just a joke

I should really just relax"

For Mystery Science Theater 3000!

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Ultra:Wait a minute... What is this? That was the intro, right? Where did these robots come from? Don’t they belong to Jonah? Built by Joel before he left?

Tom:We’re actually just copies of his robots.

Ultra:You’re... copies. Okay then. I suppose that’s possible, given Season 13 of MST3K is confirmed to have two of each robot. But still.. where did you come from?

Tom:This is Mystery Science Theater. It’s a show. You’re in a show.

Forrester:Oh, THERE you are!

Ultra:..You’re not real. The Satellite isn’t real, the robots aren’t real, none of this is real!! MST3K is a work of fiction!

Forrester:Listen here, if the ninjas want a Kinga Forrester, they’re getting a Kinga Forrester! We censored the Oman Archives! We intercepted communications with the decompilation team and made sure the AI was never found! What makes you think we can’t recreate a character from a show?!

Ultra:So.. you’re NOT Kinga Forrester?

Forrester:Right NOW I’m Kinga Forrester, and you’re gonna be reading bad articles on MIPS Hole! Riff if you like, you’re still gonna go insane.. *laugh*

Ultra:Wait a moment, I still don’t know where the robots came from... Why would the ninjas give me the robots? Couldn’t they do the job easier if they never gave me robots to riff with?

Crow:What part of “this is a show” don’t you get?

————————————————————————

Don’t worry, if you wanted to make your own riffs, you can. As yourself! I don’t own the concept of MST3K-style riffing, after all! And hey, if Jonah, Joel, and Emily can all host Season 13 of MST3K, there’s literally no reason why only I should be allowed to host this. (I kept the name in the intro undefined for a reason! You can change the parenthesis if you make an episode.) If this ever happens. This is probably a one-off joke blog.

Crow’s got the right idea, by the way. It’s a fake show with a fake plot about the Nintendo Ninjas forcing people to read bad articles. There’s no reason why the robots are there. They just are.