Bowser's Casino (Joke)

Bowser's Casino is an anomalous area found in some personalized copies of Mario N64 (Not Super Mario 64, apparently), directly south of the castle. It's described as looking like Luigi's Casino from SM64DS but run by Bowser. He just stares at you. Angrily. You can't do anything here while Bowser watches since he blocks the door to the main room. All he does is stare at you. You have to use the Gun Cap to defeat him. Once the player gets inside, they are overcome with a crippling urge to do nothing but gamble for an entire month straight and through some anomalous force cannot be stopped. Oh yeah, the level will also crash unless you screw around with the game's files and encrypt random stuff like "BOWSER.wad" for some reason. I don't know. Oh yeah, this level was designed by NINTENDO's 74th EartyDepartment... Whatever that means.

Description
It's a casino. I don't know what more you want from me. You know what a casino looks like, right? No? Shut up. We all know what a casino looks like. You'll be going to one soon, because that anomaly I explained last paragraph effects anyone who gets a full description of the level. This is your punishment for somehow never seeing a casino before. What kind of rock were you living under? Hopefully you can buy a house and like a TV or something and find a show that actually shows you what a casino looks like.

Oh yeah, this level's enemies. There are dice that have different colors that change their attributes. It's Enemy Discoloring, totally not just actually variants the developers made. Mhm, yep, it's Enemy Discoloring. Yeah. Also, despite this being a 3D level, Bowser's minions are seen in the background. I don't know what this means, please help me.

Missions
You can gamble for Power Stars, using coins, Power Stars, anomalous collectibles, or even lives. If you run out of the thing you're gambling with you die. Not in game. And if you run out of lives, your cartridge will get fried and pop out of the Nintendo 64 like a toaster. Tastes good with jam, I've tried it myself. Hey wait, I recognize that punchline from somewhere. Whatever. Anyways, there's a couple missions besides just gambling for Power Stars, but not enough to qualify this level as a full course. But the mission select is there. I don't know what the hell this means.

You can gamble for red coins and getting 8 is a 2^32 chance so you legit just can't. I don't know what idiot in NINTENDO's 74th EartyDepartment made that, but I hope they're dead. Then you get to fight Goombalax, one of Bowser's minions for a star. I don't know why, but Goombalad has his own merch. "Hey, did you just mispell the name?" No, the original page that had Goombalax in it also spelled it as Goombalad. There were only 2 mentions of him, one with each spelling, so I don't know which one is correct.

In the next mission, Mario has to hide from Bowser. If Mario was caught, he would be ripped and become rip the Mario, which is part of Mario's Destiny.

"What?" Yeah, I dunno either.

There's also a mission where you fight Gambling Garry, some random guy who teaches you how to gamble, but if you win against him, he sends his minions (that he somehow has) to go kill you. Then you get to beat him to death!

In the final mission, you have to fight Bowser again. He then asks you to gamble. You will have to stop to roli police. Roli police is a person bits of 8. He will help you. After you win, Bowser is dies and will you a star. This was also in an iteration of this page, and I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. CAN WE, LIKE, HIRE A CRYPTOGRAPHER TO SOLVE THIS? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

Hidden Ending
Bowser Casino is a place where mario has to save pech from borser.

the level;

aaahh help me mario

dont worry princess peach i can save you if you would like

no mario shut up but it was to late

mario was DEAD

now luigi! has to be the save!

I think I just had a stroke trying to re-read that.

Theorizing
There is no theorizing to be done, this level is just... Bad. Awful. I legitimately struggled to make it work and this is a joke page where I don't have to follow the canon limitations and could do whatever I wanted with it. This is why you don't publish pages like this and then constantly remake it when it's deleted, people. I have to go and somehow make the page myself when the concept was so abysmal it was next to unsalvageable because it keeps getting made and I keep having to delete it. I should have just left this as a redirect to the main page of the wiki so people would just stop writing it. Hopefully I got my message across here. If I didn't, it's your fault, not mine. Go back to school.

Also, I couldn't fit this into the page, but there was this one instance of it where some dumb guy we ended up blocking a while later remade the page simply saying that it was here but then deleted to fill the red link. The deletion template was put on it, and they added some dumb note that unknown forces are trying to destroy "accurate page histories" and to hold position, and that is just SO stupid. I know who did it too. I'm going to find them. I am already inside of their walls. ￼