User blog:Booklet Of Goddesses/64pasta 2023 Submission: Bowser in the Challenge Star Road

Prologue
It was cold outside. The leaves had started to fall, Halloween was coming, though they overshadowed it with the Christmas season approaching. Some people would enjoy this weather, going out and indulging in all the ridiculous pumpkin-spice-flavored-anything, and other people, such as myself, would rather stay inside and cuddle up under the blankets with a good book and a decent cup of coffee. But I guess I grew bored with that today, seeing as that was all I had done this past week, and I finally decided to call a friend over to play some video games on their old N64. I’m not entirely sure why I was so fixated on that console at that point. I guess it was just the nostalgia of Christmas slowly reaching me. Another reason was most likely to get it out of the way, since he had recently picked up the console and was eager to show off his skills in multiplayer games, since he rarely had the opportunity to do so.

When he got here, he suggested we use the older CRT I had lying around, which at the time was wired up to a Wii I planned to Homebrew. We booted up his N64 and immediately had a blast. Going from Grand Prix and Battle Fort in Mario Kart to adrenaline and ego boosted Smash Bros matches and wrapping up with a more drowsy, casual playthrough of whatever Mario Party board sounded the most chaotic. By time it was dark, the digital splurge had all but diminished as he packed his stuff for the night. But it was then when I noticed a game that we hadn’t yet gotten to, but one I recognized instantly. I pointed out to him that we didn’t get a chance to play Mario 64, and that he should come back tomorrow so we could. With a puzzled expression, he glanced at me and then realized he had brought the copy by mistake. He explained that it was (sadly) only programmed with a single player campaign. He must have seen my eagerness to play, since he let out a sigh and stated that if I wanted, I could borrow the console and copy for the night. I almost instantly agreed and promised to start a save file independent from him. He left with a smile, and I almost immediately plugged in the cartridge and flicked the “ON” switch.

Experience
The first thing I heard was the iconic “It’s-a me, Mario!” with the infamous music trailing behind it. The screen was strangely darker than before, yet it had such bright, simple colors. I tried messing with the brightness of the TV, to no avail. I ended up turning the lights in the room off, which not only helped with seeing the TV, but it let my tired eyes rest for a while. After slowly easing back into my soft, dark chair, I picked up the controller and selected START. I was greeted to a small, boxy file selection. I broke the promise I had made when I noticed the star count on the first file. Was there really 121 to collect? After selecting the file, I found myself in a beautiful scenery with trees, a waterfall, and Princess Toadstool’s Castle. Before I made my way into the castle, I took a few minutes to explore this outdoor area, savoring the subtle ambient noises of the birds. Instead of the typical levels, I made my way to what seemed to be a cracked, dark wood door. Entering it led me to a staircase leading downwards, (and what had really caught my attention) a Boo, leading me to the outdoors again.

The door opened to reveal a small courtyard with trees, with the major landmark being a giant stone statue in the face of a star. I had heard of this place a lot over the years. I had heard all the rumors about unlocking Luigi, or an extra star, and I’ve heard all the debate about the writing on the statue. I decided to humor myself and start running around the statue in circles. Obviously, nothing happened. I ended up standing on top of the statue, and tried to punch it by pushing B. To my surprise, this activated a dialogue box. Mario then started looking up, as if the voice was coming from the sky. The only thing the box said was:

“

YOU ARE WORTHY

”

At first, confusion overwhelmed me, but then I found myself transported to a long, winding road. Everything was dark, except the floors, which had a navy blue hue with little symbols of stars and rainbow dust scattered on it. The music sounded like a terribly pitched version of the Special World from Super Mario World. The road seemed to go on forever, with steep turns, and increasingly weirder music. It seemed the eternal-feeling pathway finally gave in, as I could see a dim light near what looked to be the end. A sigh of relief washed over me as the music faded out, being replaced by a slower, calmer rendition of the sleeping piranha melody. What really made me relax was noticing a familiar face near a giant green pipe. Yoshi. For the first time since I booted up the game, I walked. Yoshi greeted me with a gentle nod of his head, and a message of welcoming:

“

MARIO! IT THAT REALLY YOU?

OH BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU!

I FOUND THIS WARP PIPE ON MY WAY BACK TO DINOSAUR LAND!

BUT YOU SHOULDN’T GO IN, BECAUSE YOUR DEEPEST FEARS LIE THERE.

HOW ABOUT I CARRY YOU BACK TO SAFETY?

> SAVE AND QUIT

> CONTINUE

”

The calming sounds and soft CRT filter made me feel even more tired than I already was, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I opted to continue. I took a deep breath, rubbed my eyes, and stared down at the pipe before me. When I turned back, Yoshi had a slightly worried expression. Would this pipe truly realize my fears? Or is it simply fluff text for the younger audience? I didn’t think about it too long, and I jumped in. A familiar cackle followed me in.

Clicking drums. An electric bass. Booming footsteps. This was Bowser’s theme, wasn’t it? The camera panned up, revealing my suspicion was correct. Understanding my mission, I planned to run behind King Koopa to grab his tail and throw him into a bomb. The first time was simple. The sky shook with the minor explosion. Bowser fell to the floor and got back up. The fight continued with the King’s fiery breath beaming towards me. It was difficult to dodge, but I managed to grab his tail again. Bowser got up again after the second explosion and paused.

“

HEH!

YOU THINK A PIPSQUEAK LIKE YOU COULD DEFEAT ME?

WELL, LET ME SHOW YOU MY HORRIFYING NEW TRICK!

BWAHAHA!

”

After this, Bowser began to change. His skin started to peel, becoming a mess of flashing textures. The ground began to shiver. Bowser’s limbs detached with a bone chilling crackle and chunky cyan mush gushing out, his arms and legs floating erratically wherever they could. His laugh blasting through the sides of the television. Every step he took shattered parts of the shrinking arena, my controller convulsing as if it had a Rumble Pak on steroids. I almost couldn’t even hold it properly, let alone move. His laugh was growing louder and louder, the sounds of his footsteps nearly causing my TV to jitter and fall off its display. All I could think to do was turn off the console. Just as I could reach the power button, Bowser abruptly stopped and turned.

“

Y̴̫̪͒̈́̀O̸̫͙̺͒̈́̈́U̸̝̦̔̓͝ C̸͕̝̓̿͜A̸͚̼͎͒͋N̵͇̟̿̿̚’T̵͉͙͐̒͘ Ë̸̦͎̦́̿S̴͚͓̪̒͑͛C̵͕̘̝͌̚͝A̴̢̢̘͐͑͋P̵̢͎̪͛̀͛E̵̝̠͐̓͘ F̸͔̟͘͘͝R̵̺̞̪͊̔̐O̵̼̝̦̐̀̽M̴̻̻̫͑̐̽ M̵͖̙͌̿̓É̸̦͍͚͌̕ F̸̟̙͉̾̚͠O̵̞͍͖̔̽͒R̴̢̞͑͘͜͠E̴̞͎͇͌̐͝V̸̺͖̞͆͑̕È̴̪͔͚͑͘R̵͇̪̠̀͋̚

”

I turned off the console and unplugged the scorching hot cartridge.

Epilogue
The next morning, the first thing I did was get dressed enough to return the console. When I got there, I couldn’t help but break down in tears trying to tell the story. We sat down for almost an hour before I finally calmed down enough to finish. When he offered to take the now burned-in TV, I was initially hesitant, but eventually agreed to take it over later that day. I still can’t look at that TV without picturing that… monstrosity… glaring at me with its sickening grin.