User:SigmaShield/Ztar Articles

Welcome to SigmaShield's archive of Ztar Articles!

There are many articles on this wiki. There are plenty of good ones, but oh boy, there are a lot of bad ones too. The bad ones get deleted, but sometimes, a deleted page sticks out. Maybe it's so bad it's funny, maybe it has grammar so bad you think English is the author's fourth language, or maybe it just makes you question life itself. People should be able to read these pages, but they shouldn't be kept around. Thus, this middle ground was created: Ztar Articles! An archive of the worst, funniest, and most confusing deleted pages.

One last thing to consider: This is not a public shaming of bad authors. All of the articles here do not have the author mentioned anywhere. Oh, and you can't edit ztar articles, but that should be obvious, since it would defeat the purpose of it being an archive.

HOW 2 Unlock Toad
If this page was a joke, it'd be pretty good. Unfortunately, I think it's serious. Although if it's intent is to mimic old playground rumors, it did a good job. Although it probably should've been a forum post instead of a page.

(Ahoy, mateys- What? I'm Jim, one of the other admins, and for some reason I've ended up remaking multiple Ztar Articles. By complete coincidence, I've done this one before in Traitor Toad Tussle, but in SM64DS. Fight me.)

Wario For The Ultra 64
There's some interesting ideas in this page, but it is not at all written how an article should be written. There's also some blatant contradictions to the canon, like saying there are no personalized copies. The pictures are really good though. I wonder if the author considers this page their greatest achievement.

Fifth Floor
Oh boy, what do I even say about this page. I could mention the Luigi unlock, a "hardest stage in the game" being mentioned, it saying "3 new levels" without saying anything about any of them... but I think one phrase accurately describes my opinions about this page:

wario apparention

(Don't forget the real page! I didn't write this one, but shut up.)

Mario died in Super Mario 64 DS
This page is... weird. It's an odd theory, and overall lacks any evidence. I'll just let you see for yourself.

Sex
...What. Atleast it was marked as a joke page. I feel like there is some sort of reference I don't understand. And who is "Sgi Wario" because that is not the author and I don't know who else it could be.

Pipe To Another World
Oh boy. This is a legendary awful page. It was even on the Wayback Machine which is a luxury most pages don't get. Again, this page really speaks for itself. I wonder what was going through the creator's mind when they made this, like seriously. It is a drug trip. Not to be confused with Pipes to another world.

Seasonal Sanctuary
This article is one of the reasons I wanted to archive deleted pages. The creator has often said how horrible it was, and when I got admin and could see it for myself, I knew I needed to share it with the world. Now as for the page itself... it's weird, and absolutely massive. And very specific. It's really a drug trip in it's own way.

(I tried to fix this one because it was my first page a while ago, see that here. I don't think I'll ever be able to recapture the magic of the original though, even if I tried. Because it's dark magic.)

oiraW
It's just a terrible creepypasta. But it's kinda funny how blunt it is, especially with all the references to all the generic stuff like the wario apperention and the 07/29 build (and they got the date wrong like really how)

Goombrowser
Basically just a simple gamejack of MariOS. I guess it's cool that they wanted to make a browser for it, but this is done very poorly. And they kept adding notes onto the page itself. Not the comments, not the talk page, but just on the article itself.

Note from SigmaShield: Since I am not publicly shaming authors, I redacted their names. But do know that the blocks were originally their usernames.

Report 3
A report for Quin that got it's own page for some reason. Wikiflamer made Quin so I didn't redact their name, since the page is still up. As for the page itself, I don't really know what to say. It maybe probably could've passed as a normal report, but making it it's own page gave it the death sentence.

Dud
This one tries very hard to be scary and it's honestly kinda funny. Might rewrite the concept of a bad Toad since it's kinda interesting, but this is awful execution.

(Oi, Jim here- Why did I use oi as a greeting? I've written this idea twice, one in Enemy Toads and the other in Traitor Toad Tussle, so if you wanna see this idea done right like Sigma said, go look at those, or the Prisoner page that I rewrote.)

Leg mario
It's just an infobox but it's funny to me for some reason. Not much substance, look at it if you might want a cheap laugh, I guess.

Floating Mips
Not too bad of a page, actually, Pretty well written and a fair amount of info. It's a bit lackluster but could be interesting if someone gave it a rewrite. It was griefed before the time of deletion, so an older version is shown.

Ink Cap Beach
Actually a fairly interesting page. The name is misleading because there is no Ink Cap (apparently it's a type of mushroom which raises more questions) but it's fairly well written and has some interesting ideas. However, it was absolutely not finished. There's not much elaboration so it falls short. If the page was expanded, it would be really good.

Try to guess how long it takes .e to poop
yes

Super XenoBlade Chronicles 64
Dear fuck what does any of this mean. Normally I try to add Ztar Articles in chronological order from when they were deleted but this is such an anomaly I had to make an exception. I don't even know how to describe it, you need to experience it for yourself. I've had psychotic hallucinations more that make more sense than whatever this is.

The New Burning Meteor Page
The sequel to the last page. I don't even. Also fun fact this was Ztarchived before it was actually deleted because I have absolutely no faith that it wouldn't get deleted.